Jackson Graham- Week 5

Jackson is 5 weeks old today! On Saturday he turned one month old, and on Monday we hit his actual due date! :)

We are starting to get into more regular rhythms with Jackson, well, as regular as things can be for a baby with two older siblings around! Sometimes he takes one nap in three different places (arms, car seat, crib!). He is pretty good natured and just goes with the flow of the day!

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Jackson Graham- Week 3

Jackson is 3 weeks old today! Ron went back to work this week and so it was my first week on my own with all three kids! It’s been a very smooth transition though. Going from 1 to 2 kids was definitely harder haha. It is taking some time to adjust to the amount of time it takes to get out the door now though!

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I'm Still Grieving

Shortly after we came home from the hospital, I was scrolling through the pictures that Ron had taken on his camera. This photo immediately stuck out to me. First, he captured the pure joy I was feeling in that moment of meeting my son Jackson for the first time. But secondly, it also reminded me of another picture Ron had captured just 10 months before.

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Waiting For Jackson

This evening, Ron and I (okay, Ron, while I watched) raised the crib mattress up in preparation for Jackson's arrival.  It might seem like a small act, but each little "to-do" that we knock off our list, is actually so weighty and feels like a step of faith.  Because raising that crib up means that I expect to put a baby in it.  What should be so certain in our minds, just isn't.  So I feel so vulnerable when we act in ways of certainty.  I want to believe that it's true, but in the same breath, my instinct is to "protect" myself, to guard my heart just a little.  As if not preparing a crib could somehow lessen the blow of losing a child.  I know this to be false, yet my mind still operates in this fashion, even if subconsciously.  So we make conscious efforts to be "normal" during this pregnancy.

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