It’s Mother’s Day today. For most of my Mother’s Days, I’ve found it to be more of a sad day than a happy one. Of course, I am grateful for the kids I have and this life of motherhood. But days like today tend to remind me more of the one who I don’t get to mother my son Roman. I’ve only held him once, for just a few short hours. When I held him, it felt like he was with us, just asleep in my arms, just as any newborn would be. But as the hours went on, and he never cried out for me, never yawned and stretched, and his body became noticebly colder in my arms, reality quickly settled back in, and the pain would wash over me again. I desperately wished to be able to mother him in those moments (and every moment since). The truth is, while I am forever Roman’s mom, I will never have the opportunity to mother Roman.
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