February 2018 Update

For this month's blog post, I am just going to write about our trip to Australia!  It's fitting because as I sit here and write this blog post, I am still fighting off the extreme jetlag.  So let me start at the beginning...

We started dreaming of Australia early last summer.  I mentioned it to Ron at one point, and he just laughed at me.  To which I responded, "Well, you're not saying no!"  After that, we spent the summer working out the details to see if we really could make this dream a reality.  Soon all the details fell into place, and there was no turning back--we were going to be taking 3 very small children halfway around the world.  

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Roman Xavi- 2 Months Later

Today marks two months since we said goodbye to Roman.  Here are just some scattered thoughts of mine...

Looking Back

One day, I went back and read my old blog posts about my pregnancy with Roman.  I had nearly forgotten that in the very beginning we had a scare that we were going to miscarry with him.  After the scare passed, I wrote my first blog post about him, and in it, I said this:

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Reflections on 2017
Reflections on 2017

Today is the last day of 2017. As I write this there are only 19.5 hours left in this year. In a few hours, the last sunrise will take the place and hundreds of people will start to gather near our home in Time Square to watch the ball drop. In these frigid temperatures they will count down the New Year, 10,9,8... resolutions will be made and broken. Every year I write a blog post reflecting on the last 365 days.

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Roman Xavi- One Month Later

Roman,

Today you would have been one month old.  One month without you here has felt like an eternity of unbearable pain and suffering.  We think about you nearly every second of the day, constantly thinking about what you would be doing right now if you were here, thinking of the aspirations we had for you, but will never get to see come to fruition, mourning the loss of you.   I wish I could see your eyes, I'm sure they were brown like your brother and sister. 

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Thoughts on Roman
Thoughts on Roman

I never imagined that we would have to bury a child before the age of 30.  I would have never imagined that we could be strong enough to make it through something like the loss of a child.  Yet somehow we have.  Hour by hour, day by day, we are making it.  The days have now turned into weeks, as time cruelly goes on, as if nothing happened. 

I know these blog posts are hard to read--they're hard to write too. 

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Pregnancy & Infant Loss, Top Blog PostsBrooke ArevaloRoman Updates, Pregnancy & Infant LossComment