Reflections on 2017

Today is the last day of 2017. As I write this there are only 19.5 hours left in this year. In a few hours, the last sunrise will take the place and hundreds of people will start to gather near our home in Time Square to watch the ball drop. In these frigid temperatures they will count down the New Year, 10,9,8... resolutions will be made and broken. Every year I write a blog post reflecting on the last 365 days. However, this year one particular day eclipses all the other days. That day, of course, is the day we lost our youngest son Roman. With the pain and the grief still fresh in our hearts we say goodbye to 2017, but not to forget, I don't think I'll ever forget this year, nor do I want to. My memories of Roman are something I wish to never forget.  For all the pain that we have endured in the last few weeks of this year, it was also filled with great amounts of joy. We rang in the new year with some of our best friends last year. We got to take our children to Europe and show them amazing feats of architecture like the Eiffel tower and beautiful portraits like the Mona Lisa. Aly will still shout out if she sees the Eiffel tower anywhere. We've seen our son Fynn grow and learn to speak and become his own little man. In April Brooke called me at work to tell me that we were expecting a third child and I was pleasantly surprised.  It was a bit ironic because my boss and I had just been talking about having more children about an hour or two before Brooke called me.  In May we had our annual friends trip, though this year it was a bit low key, we came to our good friends place in NJ for the long weekend.  The summer was a blast, we enjoyed the warm weather, took trips to Governor's Island, we rode bicycles, we had family come visit and we visited family.  In July we had a debacle of a travel, 2 canceled flights, and 4 days delayed later, we made it to Oklahoma. In August we had some more summer fun, splash pads in the city, ice cream after dinner, pool parties and bar-b-q.  In September we went apple picking! October came and went and November we eagerly awaiting the birth of Roman.  We stayed home for Thanksgiving and Brooke cooked an amazing Thanksgiving dinner.  The morning of November 27th, we rushed to the hospital fully expecting to see our son, we didn’t get the chance.  Our son was lost, the next few weeks were a whirlwind we held a funeral, we said our goodbyes, we were surrounded by so much love that it was overwhelming.  In December I turned 30, this was rough, I was hoping to be 30, and sleepless because of our newborn.  For Christmas, we spent it with my parents, brother, sister in law and our cute little niece.  Today is the last day of 2017.  In the midst of tragedy, pain, and loss, I know that the Lord has and will continue to sustain my family and me. 

2 Corinthians 6:2 reads: 

‘“In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you.” Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation.’

2017 will be a year that I will never forget, nor do I want to forget.  I pray that in 2018 the Lord will be gracious to us and to all of you. 

Lastly, I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite authors. 

“If I knew that today would be the last time I’d see you, I would hug you tight and pray the Lord be the keeper of your soul. If I knew that this would be the last time you pass through this door, I’d embrace you, kiss you, and call you back for one more. If I knew that this would be the last time I would hear your voice, I’d take hold of each word to be able to hear it over and over again. If I knew this is the last time I see you, I’d tell you I love you, and would not just assume foolishly you know it already.” 

— Gabriel Garcia Marquez