It has been awhile since I have blogged about a general life update. It's funny because I told myself a couple of weeks ago that I should blog about all of this even amidst the uncertainty and chaos instead of waiting to be on the other side. And of course, I didn't get around to it until today, and things are definitely much brighter now haha! But I wanted to write about this, mostly so I can look back and remember how God carried us through this season.
So for starters, this has been a trying year for us. We spent the first half of the year dealing with various health issues with Ron and Aly's sleepy problems. And just when all of that seemed to be resolved, Ron very unexpectedly lost his job in early July.
This came as such a shock and a blow to us. Of course there is never a good time to lose a job, but 6 months pregnant seemed to be pretty bad timing. Also, things had already been very tight, we were still trying to recoup from our expensive move, medical bills, and more expensive rent. It just seemed like such a daunting situation to find ourselves in.
We started out hopeful that it would be a very short season of our lives. We would joke that this could just end up being the most stressful two week vacation of our lives. But two weeks quickly turned into a month, which turned into two, which then turned into almost three months.
Ron immediately began his job search, and we were blessed that he had tons of interviews, almost weekly since July, but companies move slowly, and we kept hitting brick walls. Either he was too qualified for one job, or didn't have enough experience for the other. It could be very frustrating at times.
We spent the month of August all without insurance, which was quite scary being so pregnant, but we were hopeful September would bring a new job. When September approached with no new job, we had to insure myself in case labor or complications happened this month. This was another added expense and stress as we couldn't afford to insure Ron and Aly too.
Now, today--exactly one month until our son's due date, Ron is starting his first day of work! He got offered the job last week! We are beyond relieved and thrilled for his new adventure!!
These last three months have been tough for sure. But God has used this time to teach us so much. By God's grace we have been able to stay calm through it all. We never fought or let tensions come between us. We stayed hopeful and positive. Help came in ways we never expected so that we never had to lack. God truly provided for us this season.
Here are some of the big things I think He taught us:
To be good stewards of the money He has given us. In the several months leading up to Ron's unemployment, we had been running a deficit each month with our budget. Of course a lot of that was from medical bills and such, but it was also due to our lack of diligence to steward our money well. When Ron lost his job, this obviously forced us to live on an extremely tight budget. We learned that we could get by on very little and to trust that He would provide where we lacked. Moving forward, I hope we can carry over this mentality of good financial stewardship. I also pray that God would open our eyes more to others in need. It was such a blessing to us when others would unexpectedly help us out, and I want to be able to do that for others more often.
To trust in His timing. This was a very hard lesson, especially for me. I like to feel in control of everything. I had everything planned out in my mind, and then all of those notions and ideas came crumbling down. Even when Ron initially lost his job, I still tried to play God in the situation. I'd tell others that it was all going to happen in God's perfect timing, while thinking to myself when exactly I thought that perfect timing would be! As Fynn's due date crept closer, I began to question when exactly was God's timing with all of this. Did He really think it would be a good idea to bring Fynn into this world amidst this chaos of our lives? Will it really be okay if Aly and Fynn have to have state insurance and we are forced to leave our beloved pediatrician? What would happen if Ron got a job but couldn't take paternity leave (which is actually what has happened!)? How much longer could we get by financially? These were questions I began to work through. Of course about the time that I began to make peace with all of this, is when Ron got offered a job. I am incredibly grateful that God chose to bless us with this new job before Fynn is born, and I also see bits of good that have come from him being out of work these last few months. For one, we have gotten to spend lots of time with Ron at home! That has been incredibly fun for Aly and me both. And also, he has been able to watch Aly while I go in to my office to train for my maternity leave, something we initially weren't sure who would watch her. So moving forward, we are continuing to trust in His timing. I don't know what it will look like with Ron not having any paternity leave to take when I go back to work in January, but I'm trusting it will work out. It will also be a new adjustment for us since Ron used to work from home most of the time. I'm trying to be thankful for those few years I had him at home with me and trust that the time we do share together now will be even sweeter!
To cling to Christ. He truly is our strength in times of weakness. I'm thankful for a wonderful Godly husband who continually pointed us back to Christ during this hard season. I would read passages where God continually was faithful to His people and be reminded of His faithfulness in my own life. I would listen to worship songs that reminded me that He hears our cries. Ron and I would come together before God and praise Him for the trials we've been through--though they've been tough, they've strengthened us. And so with that, I want to continue clinging to Christ, even in the good times.
"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never let the righteous fall." -Psalm 55:22